


I Shouldn't

by secretly_a_spacaecadet



Series: Should I? (Multi-Fandom One-Shots) [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Angels are Dicks (Supernatural), Angels are Weird (Supernatural), Angst, Bad Ending, Castiel (supernatural) isn't an ass, Castiel is earthbound, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Dead Sam Winchester, Dean doesn't go to hell, Depression, Drug Use, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving Dean Winchester, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt Dean Winchester, I did, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Just Roll With It, Light Angst, M/M, Old Writing, Pre-Canon, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Dies, Sam was dean's world, Self-Esteem, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Sorry Not Sorry, confusing timeline, it's by choice, left open, rip sam winchester, timeline makes no sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:26:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21688291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretly_a_spacaecadet/pseuds/secretly_a_spacaecadet
Summary: Destiel AU where angels are the bad guys. MAIN CHARACTER DEATH! (Sam)-----Ship: Dean Winchester/CastielFandom: SupernaturalCharacters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, John Winchester, and LuciferWarnings: Mentions of (child) abuse, Main character dies, drug and alcohol abuse... Angels are the bad guysWord Count: 1022Written: 2017
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & John Winchester, Dean Winchester & John Winchester & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, John Winchester & Sam Winchester
Series: Should I? (Multi-Fandom One-Shots) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563439
Kudos: 6





	I Shouldn't

**Third Person**  
**Flashback**

  
Dean was fifteen and his little brother Sammy was eleven, he was old enough to care for himself and he assured Dean of that. He promised Dean he could manage himself while Dean went out to get food. What he came back to was a mess and Sammy, oh god Sammy.  
Dean's brother was laying in a pool of blood, his brother and there were clear signs of a struggle. His angel blade protruding from his stomach, Dean was only gone a few minutes, a quick run to the store.  
"Dean?"  
He heard the small voice from his nearly lifeless brother.  
"Yes, Sammy?"  
My breathing nearly stopped as I said those words. I knelt down beside him and pulled his head into my lap.  
"I should've said yes."  
It was an angel, it had to have been.  
"No, you shouldn't have, Sammy. They shouldn't have done this to you. Who was it?"  
He coughed, blood spilling out onto his already paled lips.  
"I don't know. There was more then one. They didn't s..."  
His eyes shut.   
"Sam! Sammy!"  
Dean screamed to no one in particular. Tears fell down his face, it should've been him, not Sammy.

  
**\------------**

  
Maybe a day later John came back to the motel room he had left the boys, Dean was unconscious and covered in blood laying beside his baby brother's lifeless body.  
"Dean, get up and explain what happened. Now Dean!"  
Dean whimpered, curling in on himself.  
"I-I don't know sir."  
John was upset by this answer. He growled, "Boy, how don't you know. I gave you one rule keep Sammy safe and you can't even do that. What the hell boy? Explain yourself now, Dean."  
Dean quickly moved his right hand to block the punch or hit, that never came... he tried to defend his actions, "He said he was feeling ill, he told me to leave him here. He complained that we treated him like a baby, begged me to let him stay here alone, he'd be fine, he said. He knew how to handle himself. The angels, they... they got him sir."  
John looked at Dean in disgust. "Get yourself cleaned up we have to deal with the body."  
Dean looked distressed. "Dad, he wants to be buried by the tombstone we have for mom."  
John grunted and nodded.

  
**\------------**

Soon Sam was cremated and buried, they didn't bother having a service to remember him. It would only have been Bobby, John, and Dean, no one else would've bothered to show up and for a nobody's funeral for a boy who never really lived. They stayed in Kansas for awhile, Dean would sleep at his grave and talk to him. Often times, John would go searching for Dean early in the morning and find him curled up at the gravesite shivering cold his leather jacket drapped over him like a blanket. The grave was just a basic headstone that to Sam's approval, or so Dean hoped, that was much like their mother.  
Days later they packed up. Dean stood at the grave.  
"I guess this is goodbye, Sammy."  
Dean waited a few moments for a response he knew would never come.  
"I'll avenge your death Sammy. I'll kill all those evil Sons of bitches. It should've been me, Sammy!"  
He had fallen to the ground crying, screaming to no one in particular, with every word you could hear his heart break. When John dragged him away Dean hit him hard.

  
**Dean's POV**  
**Years Later**

  
I woke up in a pool of sweat, I had another dream of my little brother. It's been four years since I fucked up and got my baby brother killed. I sat up, and took notice of all the empty beer bottles that littered the floor of my bedroom, I clearly had been drinking again and that explained the killer headache. I moved and my whole body ached, dad must've been home lately. I have a slightly swollen face and a broken lip, along with a few ribs that are most likely cracked, if not broken.  
I groan and roll out of bed. I get up and walk to the bathroom grabbing a half empty beer bottle and pop a few pills in my mouth chugging half of what's left in the bottle.  
"Dean, I'm heading out," a familiar voice booms through the mostly empty apartment, "I'll be home in a few weeks..." he pauses for a long time, "you know the drill."  
"Yes, wa-- go to work and keep this apartment presentable, don't let anyone but Bobby in, and take care of anything that might pop up while you're gone," I reply loudly and respectful, I don't need another beating.

  
**A Few Hours Later**

  
I left the apartment after cleaning up a little. I head to work bumping into a black haired boy, with bright blue eyes. I check him over.  
"I'm so sorry." I help the dorky looking boy up.  
"I'm good, I should've been watching where I was watching. I'm Castiel."  
"Not your fault at all, Castiel." I chuckle. "I'm Dean and how about I make it up to you?" I smirk.  
"How would you do that, Dean?" He tilts his head in confusion.  
"I'll take you on a date." I give him my number. "Call me sometime."  
He nods as I run off shouting about how I was going to be late.

**\------------**

  
For the rest of the day I couldn't get his eyes out of my head, they were the perfect shade of blue. I could get lost in them. His hair, oh my God his hair, it's ebony and it looks so soft I want to touch it so badly. His lips, they look soft and kissable. The way his name flowed off my lips. He looked perfect, he seemed perfect; he only had one flaw, he wasn't mine. I wanted Castiel to be mine immediately. 


End file.
